Insomnia, drunks and snark OH MY

I have a raging issue with snark. My brain and mouth completely lack any sort of filter and I say basically whatever comes to mind.

For example, my memories on Facebook today reminded me of a scenario from two years ago. I'll quote the full post

Minding my own business browsing the produce at Westside (grocery)...
Little girl: MOMMY why does SHEEEE get to squeeze the Cuties before she buys them?
Me (not missing a beat): Now THAT is part of being a woman
Oh wait she was talking about oranges ๐Ÿ˜ต itโ€™s a wonder I donโ€™t get slapped sometimes

So given that little background, this happened last night...

I couldn't sleep again (big surprise) and was hungry so I ran to the bodega around 3am. I ordered my food at the counter and waited to the side bc that's usually around the time the cops come in for their break. Instead a bunch of drunk guys come in, obviously headed home from the bar or party and kinda pissed about going home without any ladies. They start hitting on me (pjs, fleece, glasses, big rats nest on top of my head) and then try to tell me they play football and are kind of a big deal.

My response: if you could take your eyes off my ass long enough to read my Clemson fleece you'd realize that no, when it comes to football, I'm the big deal. Goodnight gentlemen. 

Guy behind the deli counter nearly dies laughing bc he has told me many times how much money he made on our game ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

My snark has no limits. Just don't split your pants laughing ;-)